Posted on Monday 31st of August 2020 09:14:02 AM

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I was on my way to a meeting, and my date said, "What you are going to do in that meeting is a matter of your own free will. You are going to go out there, make your own decision and walk away. If you don't want to go and talk to him or her, you can stop walking."

So I did. I walked away and got my hair cut.

It wasn't until single chat online I got home that I realized this was not my first date. She was my first friend. And I'd gotten a little close to her. So I realized I was in love with my first woman. It was a good feeling.

It was a few days later when we went to the movies together. We both saw The Last Airbender. We both liked it. She was so cute. She was just so cool and so kind. She had a cute smile and thailand cupid dating it was like she could see the world in a whole new way. It was like we were in a dream and I was just watching her and she was just watching me. She was like, "Dude, we're in the middle of the desert. Do you really want to walk?" And I was like, "Yeah." And she's like, "But I want to go home to my family." And I'm like, "You're really going to stay here? I'm on a mission and you're on a mission too." And she was like, "Nope." We had this little dance party and then I went out, we went to this place called Club Lotto and I danced chatroom irani with these guys that was a couple years older than me and that's how I found out that I really wanted to know him and I just wanted to know if he was really there and was really into me and I really was. But then I got in this car accident and that was the moment that I said, "No." I was at the hospital the next morning and I woke up with a black eye, and then I got having a boyfriend in the army a call that I was coming home to New Jersey because this guy had put a gun to my head and shot me in the head and it was just really devastating. It's still hard for me to talk about. It's not something that you can ever get over. I really miss that time and I still think about it everyday. But then we got a little house in Florida, which is so awesome and there's my mom and my sister and my cousins, and we had my dad there and my uncle who's a Marine who lived here for a while. And I was there prison pen pals georgia for like two weeks, and it was good because it was just like a real family. They really welcomed me into their home, like they welcomed me into a family. But you know, I feel like I've been lucky enough to live through a lot of bad things and I've been able to overcome some of them. Like , when we were on my first deployment to Korea, I lost my best friend, and he just wasn't around, and so we're just in this very different place. He was there for the whole time we were there, so it was really a loss. But then we were on our second deployment to Iraq, and then I was in Afghanistan. And there was this time that was like really bad, because I saw this person who was like, 'Yeah, I got hit. I'm still okay. I got the scars from the fight, I'll still make it through the day, but I was really really hurt, and I wasn't going to be able to be with that person anymore. So I was like, 'I can't, I've got to stay with this person.' And so that's how that ended. So I've found a way to be in a relationship with him now, but I also know it's hard for me to find someone who understands me like that. So we were both married, we're both going through our lives, and I was having a really hard time being with that person. And I had to get into that person's head. I had to be like, 'Okay, that's me. This person who's in the same place as me, I have to let go, let go of all that baggage, and I've got to live my life as my own person.' It's so weird. You never see anybody who's so in love with someone. You see somebody who's like, 'Oh yeah, it's great. He's a great guy. I'm going to love him forever. I'm tattooed guys going to keep looking for him.' "You go through the phases. You start liking somebody and you go to the other end of the spectrum and you start hating somebody. There's always a period of where you're like, 'This guy just doesn't like me. I don't like him.'

"I have this friend who is a sergeant in the Air Force. He's just a big guy american single girls with a lot of attitude, but he's just this sweet guy. He's also in the Marines, but that's his specialty. He just goes for all of the guys. I've never dated anybody, and it's been a very long time, but I've dated a lot of guys. And this guy is the first guy who I've ever dated. He's just this big guy, and we get along. But I always have a little bit of a problem with this guy. He always ends up getting in my head, and I always have to stop myself. When we started dating, I think he was about six feet tall, and about a hundred and fifty pounds. He was very muscular. It's not that he was big.