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A new poll found that more than 50% of college students don't like their boyfriends and girlfriends. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
More than half of the women in the survey (53%) said they would rather date someone from a different religion. And 54% said they would prefer a guy who was the same sex. (The rest of the results were slightly different, but it's still surprising.)
"We are so used to thinking of ourselves as the good guy and the nice guy. But as I've learned through this poll, it's really important that the guys who we're dating know what they're getting themselves into," says Sarah Culp, president of the National Organization for Women.
Culp, who has been at the helm of the organization chatroom irani since 1992, says the survey is part of a larger trend in which women are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their relationships. She says that "there's this whole phenomenon of people who say they're happy but they don't have enough in life or are just getting bored with their life."
As for men, they have been finding it harder to find partners, and some men say they're less likely to date women who aren't straight. According to the Pew Research Center, more men are now unmarried.
Culp agrees that the trend is troubling, but she says that women who are attracted to men of the opposite sex might be in a good having a boyfriend in the army spot because they have more resources than men of their same sex. That doesn't mean, though, that there are no problems. Culp says that the problem is "the inability of men to think outside the box." "I think it has to do with the fact that men are being told to put women on a pedestal and put women's needs and feelings over the well-being of men, and men are going to give in to that," she says. "But that's not going to work for men." The survey is part of a broader issue. The Pew Research Center says more than half of Americans — 56 percent — now say they would be bothered by a potential partner not meeting their needs. The majority of those who were polled said they would consider it an issue. In many cases, it is, says Culp. "Men are putting women in a box of what is important," she says. "And when you put women in that box, you put them in a box where you have to be perfect." Culp says, "The issue is that you don't realize how much women are put on a pedestal and that it's not good for them." Culp is a professor at the University of Arizona, and she co-hosts the radio show with her husband, Michael. The duo has produced a number of videos, one on masculinity and the other on masculinity and women, and they have several books on the topic. The problem of women being told what they can and cannot do is the central issue. "It's the idea that a woman is not a human being, because they want to be," says Culp. "The issue with that is that it's not healthy. In many cases, it's not good for women." Culp is the author of How to Be a Man and a Woman, a book that she describes as "a call to arms" for women, and she thinks men are to blame for the problem. "I believe that a lot prison pen pals georgia of men don't want to listen to what women are saying about how to be a man," she says. "There's a lot of pressure on men to be strong, or to be macho, and for women, it's almost a double standard. It's almost like women are american single girls being judged for being women." The problem, she argues, is that the media has made it a thing of necessity that women must wear dresses and makeup and be thin, so that men can't see them for what they really are. Culp says that she's had men comment, "What are you wearing? I don't like what you're wearing." Culp is an outspoken proponent of being honest about who you are and who tattooed guys you want to be, so that your partner, and your husband for that matter, can make an informed decision. "It's very easy to be offended by things," she says. "I'm not suggesting women don't get offended by the things that they see around them, but you know, for the most part, people are getting it. "The biggest problem I see is that when men get to be the judge and jury and jury is just going to get them to feel like they're not a woman, I don't think that's healthy," she says. "And when we start to put men in that position, they're going to think, 'Oh man, I'm not a woman, but I'm really good at the things I do and I'm going to have to be a bit more careful.'"
"This is why I don't like that it's been made into a cultural phenomenon, is because I don't think it's healthy. I think that's what men will do. I don't know how to help them, but I know that's what it is."
"I think there's a perception issue. And I think that's just the nature of it. Women are judged by men more than men thailand cupid dating are judged by women. Women have an inferiority complex, they have a desire to be liked. And the idea that it's OK to be single chat online judged on what you say, that it's okay to feel like you're doing a bad job or being bad for saying, 'I don't understand what you're saying.' You can't just come into a room and say it and get a pass. I think that's a huge problem."
So is there a way to break the cycle, or is there more to it than a perception? Is it just an illusion that is only apparent to the untrained eye?
"We can talk about it more," he continues.